Coaching and Mentoring

A mentor is a person whose inspires and invites us to become a better person, someone we admire, who offers guidance as we contemplate and shape our future. When families live in close proximity to one another, the role of mentor is frequently played by a trusted relative or family friend, someone whose wisdom is available by example. But with many of us separated from our family and friends of origin, we consider ourselves fortunate to encounter such a person. Without the natural presence of a mentor, however, some people contract with a professional coach or guide who has a studied understanding of the workplace or situation we’re involved in.

Mentors, coaches and guides help us tell our stories so that we can make sense of our lives. They prod, query and cajole. They tune their ears and intuition to the rhythms, pitches and arcs of our stories and reflect back what they hear to help us know who we are, where we have been, and what we are called to do. A mentor might offer unsolicited advice, and while a coach or guide might say she doesn’t give it, there are times when giving advice is appropriate. So is tough feedback. A mentor may have an emotional investment in our life and future, whereas a coach or guide might say that maintaining an emotional distance is necessary in order to help us progress toward the outcomes and goals we have set with her. The difference between them is more a linguistic one, whether they present themselves to us or we seek them out. While there may be variations in practice and style among mentors, coaches and guides, they share a common intention: to help us reach our fullest potential.

From time to time during coaching, the past will come up as a compass to the present and future. While some coaches are practicing therapists, most are not generally versed in the deeper psychological implications at the root of past experiences. Coaches and guides should, however, be able to help the client discover how patterns influence their present lives, and, when left unexamined, how they can hold sway over the future.

Effective coaches should have deep knowledge of the landscape their client works in. For example, an executive corporate coach should be versed in corporate language, culture and trends and understand the challenges that CEOs face. Those who coach school leaders and teachers should speak the language of a universe that includes the impact of urgency on the client’s leadership and management style; task juggling, relentless deadlines, fast rhythms, instructional leadership, management issues, giving and receiving feedback and working with families and communities. Some coaches and guides are “multi-lingual” with the ability, talent and experience to coach across work cultures and terrains.

There is no codified way to coach; coaching is an art form that must be practiced to master. Deep listening, keeping your ego in check and trusting your intuition are key to the process. We enter into a sacred relationship with people when they entrust us with their well-being, therefore, the responsibility of coaching must be taken very seriously.