Anything but Touchy Feely

I was recently introduced at a workshop to a group of emerging and seasoned School Leaders with whom I was about to spend the day. The director said very gracious things in his introduction. Then suddenly, in that one moment, all the preparation I did, all the advance planning with the director, and with participants through individual emails – in that one moment, it was all nearly sabotaged with two words. “And now, it is my great pleasure to introduce Linda, who has taken time from her work with KIPP to work with us. We’ll be doing touchy feely work today, so get ready.”

“Oh no!!! Not the dreaded “touchy feely.”

People will often hear me say that I’m guided by knowing that I’m never confused about who my primary stakeholders are. Here was another opportunity to practice that as I made my way to the front of the room. I turned to face the 30+ participants and knew I had to redirect the images reflected in their faces: Please tell us we’re not going to be holding hands, singing Kumba Ya, and passing the talking drum around the circle of trust.

“Thank you for inviting me. It’s so wonderful to see you face to face after communicating through email, and I’m so glad to be here with you today. There’s nothing I would rather do than work with you because you are committed to urban education and changing the outcomes and opportunities for our Kids. It’s the hardest work there is and it demands so much of you. (Beat, beat – a quick look toward the floor then back at them. With feet firmly planted and a teaching heart and intention):

“And thank you for the lovely introduction. With all due respect, however, there is one thing I want to make very clear: There is nothing touchy feeling about the art of communicating, interacting with and leading people. The work of human dynamics is very rigorous. We will be engaging in that rigorous work today. It takes stamina, complete attention and engagement, and now I ask you to commit to that.”

I could feel the mind of the room shift, and a collective exhale of relief as well as anticipation. And then we began.

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