Reflection at Year's End
Wending our way to the end of another year always invites reflection. We often seem to navigate quickly past our successes and joy, finding ourselves mired in the do-overs, takebacks, if-only's...Leonard Cohen's words from Anthem, offer a compass.

Ring the Bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Gratitude
Robert Emmons, PhD, in Thanks: How the Power of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, says that gratitude requires reflection and contemplation. He reminds us that the etymology of “thinking” and “thanking” are the same. In order to feel grateful we
• Recognize
• Acknowledge
• Appreciate
Interestingly, he also found that in contrast to people who wrote down five things they felt hassled by, the people who wrote down blessings they were thankful for slept better, had more energy, suffered less illness, exercised more, were more optimistic about their future, and felt better about their lives.

Gratitude

I am Grateful for
The ground we rake
The risks you take
The gift of mistake

I am Grateful for
Your generous hearts
Your collective smarts
The brand new starts

I am Grateful for
The songs we sing
The Truth you bring
The bird on the wing

I am Grateful.

Linda
2009

Books that Inspire Me

Here are a few of the many books on my shelf that inspire me and also offer words, passages and quotes for staff meetings and agendas.

Martin Luther King, Jr. on Leadership: Inspiration and Wisdom for Challenging Times: Donald T. Phillips (This is at the top of my list for living leadership through historical perspective.)

Words Under the Words: Naomi Shihab Nye – (I never leave home without this book of poetry.)

Leadership on the Line: Staying alive through the Dangers of Leading: Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky (A deep, well-written exploration of what it takes to recognize the traps, negotiate the turns and understand how to navigate the rough waters of transformational leadership.)

Sailing Alone Around the Room: Billy Collins – former Poet Laureat (Includes thought provoking poetry whether serious, irreverent or funny.)

The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni 1968-1998 (A true political poet: Make sure to read Always There Are the Children.)

If Aristotle Ran General Motors: the new soul of business: Tom Morris (How to live in Beauty and Truth in corporate America.)

Paradigm Found: Leading and Managing for Positive Change: Anne Firth Murray
(A woman's view of what the workplace should feel and act like.)

Happier: Tal Ben Shahar (This professor teaches the most popular course at Harvard; he helps us understand the complexity of happiness and how to practice it.)

Destructive Emotions: How Can We Overcome Them? Dalai Lama and Daniel Goleman
(The Dali Lama, who is well versed in science, brought together a group of world experts from a variety of disciplines including Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence), those with deep meditative practices, and renowned scientists for a conclave on the brain and emotions.)

Leadership and Self Deception: Getting out of the Box: The Arbinger Institute (An instructive, quick read written in story form that helps us understand our role in relationships at work and at home.)

The Leadership Pipeline: Ram Charan/Stephen Drotter/James Noel (This deconstructs in easy to practice terms, what we need to do to move from classroom teacher to head of a major organization.)

Creating True Peace: Thich Nhat Hanh (Respected peace activist guides us through the process of integrating peace in our personal and profession lives.)

The DreamKeepers: Successful Teachers of African American Children. Gloria Ladson-Billings (Pioneer in urban education and cultural relevant teaching.)

Meeting Tools

Prelude

Establish meeting norms together to guide the process
Examples:
Remain present and accountable
Evaluate rather than judge
Respect others’ opinions, styles and rhythms
Keep it situational not personal
Respect silence
Speak your Truth

The Meeting

Decision means cutting off alternatives…(leadership is) the ability to achieve purpose. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Create realistic agenda
Timeline: day ahead; ask for staff input to foster ownership: Lead time allows staff to consider agenda items, come prepared, and sets the expectation for thoughtful meetings. Timely items can still be added at meeting.
Set tone
Place quote, poem or art at top of agenda to reinforce mission, values, vision
Designate allotted time for each agenda item and be willing to adjust to accomodate forward motion
Note who’s responsible for each item

Lead the meeting

Begin with silence to allow staff to be fully present and bring their attention to the space.
Transition out of silence
Examples
Thought for the day, poem or music: these can be offered by staff on rotating basis
One Minute Moment: each staff member offers (within one minute) an
achievement/accomplishment/challenge
Tackle business (agenda items)
Deadlines force decisions:

Close the meeting

Closing ritual examples
One new thing each staff member will try
One thing each is looking forward to
Silence, poem or song

Epilogue

Revisit norms to see how well you were true to them.

Document the meeting
Rotate note-taking responsibility
Use a grid to make notes easier to take and read
See example under Resources

Next Post: Meeting Resources

Intro to How to lead a good staff meeting: Creating Sacred Space
Martin King also understood that executive decision-making is not a string of individual orders. Rather, it is more of a continuous, uninterrupted process that is similar to the beating of a heart that sends blood through our body. Without it there is no life. Donald T. Phillips: Martin Luther King Jr, on Leadership.

Leadership is an art form that requires you to work at the intersection of sensitive facilitator and fearless visionary. As a leader, your role is to inspire, cajole, mediate, and motivate your staff to work beyond their self-imposed limitations – to establish a workplace where people come to become better people. Leadership asks you to see and tap the talents that each staff member possesses, to help bring out their best so they can do the same for our KIPPsters; it will bring out your best as well. Enlightened leaders create this SuperVision through dynamic and authentic communication, transparent ethics, and the desire and skills to develop leaders within their organization.

Staff meetings provide common ground to reinforce this culture, creating a sacred space to anchor intention where reverence and rigor reside comfortably. The word sacred is used here in a spiritual not religious context. It refers to creating a space that is dedicated exclusively to a single purpose. A place that is worthy of respect, where we identify and honor our values, manifest a fulfilling and mindful approach to work and life, and be fully present to the possibilities.

The purpose of a meeting is to take care of business, build and nurture teams and reinforce community culture. It’s a time and place to problem-solve, maintain clear and open communication channels, and exchange news that affects the daily management of the organization. Meetings are a place where staff can push through callused patterns, struggle to connect their heads with their hearts, take risks in front of one another, and laugh out loud.

You might ask: How can I do this and still focus on our mission, keep my primary stakeholder’s best interest at heart and in mind, and conduct business? In fact, your purpose will be clearer and stronger, your team will feel more committed to their work, and the level of productivity will increase when you develop the practice of meetings as sacred space.

Staff meetings provide a place where:

• Everyone owns a piece of the Truth.
• Bringing out the best in others is good for people and good for business.
• Feedback and conflict (even challenging criticism and evaluation) can be a positive, uplifting experience, when the goal is to bring out that best.
• Most people will pursue what they need to learn in an atmosphere of trust and encouragement.
• Passion and laughter are necessary.

These essential elements lead us through the arduous process of self-discovery and self-actualization as we become more authentic and daring. When meetings are sacred spaces, particularly when the organization’s business is people centered like KIPP is, it becomes possible to intentionally live the mission, act on the organization’s values, and embody its vision.

Next Post: Meeting Tools

Preparing for the First Coaching Session
Creating ritual around the arrival of a client helps prepare for the meeting. It’s a time to leave behind the moments and situations you have been in, and focus all of your attention on her and to be completely present. There are a myriad of ways to create ritual: make a cup of tea in a mindful way; breathe intentionally; listen to a particular piece of music or read a passage or poem that calms and focuses you; sit in silence. What matters is that you create internal space for the person, and establish your focus and intention.
Some helpful tips:

• Do not check email before a client comes; you never know what will come across your screen that might distract or upset you.
• Allow a few minutes before your client arrives to devote time to think about her.
• Review notes. Jot down what comes to you; remember that intuition is key in coaching.
• Turn off your phones once your client has arrived.
• Breathe.

Greeting your Client

• Welcome your client with clear eye contact and a handshake or hug, depending on your relationship.
• Establish a calm environment.
• Take notice of her demeanor.
• Be seated and engage.

Language
Here are some nonjudgmental phrases to help the client tell her story.

• Tell me more about that.
• What have you already tried?
• How have you solved other similar problems?
• What’s at stake?
• Are there things you are worried about regarding the process or outcome?
  

About Giving Advice
Clients seek coaching because they want to engage with someone who has experience in the world, sees a bigger picture and can offer another point of view. An effective coach offers SuperVision. In a sense she is a chess wizard: she observes keenly, and uses her wisdom and experience to view the chess game a step or two ahead to anticipate the consequences a particular move the client is considering.

Sometimes giving advice is exactly what the situation calls for. It can be most helpful to make strong recommendations a client hasn’t thought about, and it can sometimes save the client from making an irreparable mistake.
Sometimes a coach helps a client develop a “script” for an authentic conversation she is about to have with another person. Along the way, the coach frequently asks, “What do you think the person’s response will likely be?” The client almost always correctly predicts the answer. If they don’t know you can ask: “If you did know, what would you say?” Clients often can respond to this.
There is no codified way to coach; coaching is an art form that must be practiced to master. Deep listening, keeping your ego in check and trusting your intuition are key to the process. It is wise to ask yourself three questions before responding to a client.

• Is it true and thoughtful?
• Is it authentic?
• Does it contribute to the desired outcome?
  I’ll refer to this practice of responses of True, Authentic and Outcome as TAO (commonly pronounced Dow).

Next post: Breaking though calloused patterns